We aren’t here without a purpose.
That is something I believe deeply. Maybe it is something you believe too or maybe it isn’t. Some people would call it a crutch to believe that we are meant for something in this life claiming that people who feel empty just use this ideology as a way to cope with their depression and lack of self-worth. Maybe they are right. I choose not to look at things in such a cynical manner because that isn’t how I feel.
I found myself at a low. I was so low that I often would go for walks late at night and end up in tears crying out to God asking him to end my life. I found myself saying, and I remember the words near exactly, “What’s the point? What’s the point in being alive if all I am is a disappointment? What’s the point in being alive if I mean nothing?” I truly believed that, while some tears may have been shed, my life held no deep meaning or had any great impact on any person that I knew.
This was my low. This was the lowest I could ever get and the lowest I would ever get. Not long after this your mother and I became friends and I finally had someone in my life that made me feel like I had a purpose and that I mattered.
I don’t want to focus on me, however. I don’t want to focus on how broken I was and how meaningless life may feel at times. You may or may not ever get to a point like this and I do hope I can help you through it. I hope that I can provide you with the words you need to hear to be able to hold on until whatever it is that you need finally comes.
I want to talk about what my purpose in life is.
I’d be an arrogant fool if I claimed that I truly knew the ins and outs of why I am alive and what purpose I am meant to serve on this planet during my time here. I can’t begin to fathom the depths of what is in store for me. I know only that I am meant to do something, no matter how small or simple that may end up being the point is that it matters.
People spend a lifetime trying to figure out what it is to be alive and what life means to them and some people find themselves chasing that very question for the rest of their lives never finding a real answer. Others find their calling before they even leave highschool. Even people that don’t believe that they are ‘meant’ for anything still believe that they are capable of something and they attempt to find the life that is the most meaningful to them. No matter what you believe I can all but guarantee that in life you will find yourself seeking a way to make your life have as much value as it can.
My purpose in life is to make a difference. I’ve known this for a while, even if I haven’t done much to act on it. You see I was born and then raised to love and love so deeply that I was hurt a lot growing up. However, the flip side of that is that I also care so passionately about things and people and animals and life as a whole. I struggle with maintaining my own happiness but something that I do not struggle with is the belief that life is sacred and that it means something to make a difference no matter how small it may seem. The truth is that when I was at my lowest point all it took to turn my life around was having somebody who listened to me and asked me to hangout. Something so simple was able to turn so much of my life around.
I don’t know what I am meant to do in the big picture down to specific details but I believe that I have the power and the capability to change somebodies life. I believe that I can help people and I can make someone who would otherwise feel worthless understand that they mean something and that they matter to someone. I want to show people love and compassion that they may have never seen before. I want people that refuse to believe in love to understand just how real and powerful it is. I want to take someone who feels empty and fill them with purpose.
In life we get choices as to what directions we will take our life and what we do with what we are given. I was given a heart capable of loving unconditionally so I hope to go out and make a difference.
If you find yourself at a low and wondering what you are worth, do yourself this one favour, find somebody who is in need and save their life.
I don’t mean stand near a bridge and wait for someone to climb over the railing or wait at the subway for someone to jump in front of the train.
Saving a life can be as simple as letting someone know they have a friend in you. Saving a life can be as simple as making someone feel that, for even just one moment, they are important and they matter.
There are so many people in this world and each and every one of them matter and they deserve to know that. Look out for those who seem like they need a friend, a kind word, a hug, or something and change their life. Something that seems like such a simple gesture to you could mean the world to someone else.
Love You Always,