Maybe it’s anxiety or maybe it’s just who I am but there are days I look at as my ‘sunny days’. Now, it is only a coincidence that they mainly occur on actual sunny days (maybe), but these are the days where I feel something that is hard to explain. I’ll call it hope.
On these days I may just wake up, go outside to walk the dog and everythinh will feel like it’s coming together. Maybe I’ll know what I want to do for a career or maybe I know what I want to do with some troubling situation, the bottom line is almost every time something feels resolved.
The problem is that these days don’t last forever. Sooner or later the clouds draw near.
I’m not somebody who has ever had my life or my emotions together. I almost always end up feeling differently about something that I felt strongly about mere days before. I am constantly growing and changing. This can be great when it helps relieve anger or bitterness but it also means drifting from what I thought was what I wanted. It can complicate things and it can confuse me and it can send me right back to feeling lost.
You will have days where you feel like you have it all together and then, out of nowhere, things will change. You will change and it will leave you with more questions than answers.
My solution for you is to hold on to the sunny days. You can’t control a great many things in life, least of all how you feel but when those good days come and you feel like you’ve got it all figured out don’t waste time questioning how long it will last and worrying that things will change. Embrace the warmth and enjoy it. Make the sunny days count for something more than just a good feeling.
I know I haven’t written in a few days. Truth be told the sunny days for me right now are vital for me to give all my attention to. I have not forgotten you or stopped wanting to share my infinite wisdom with you, I’m just trying to hold on to the sun.
Love you always,