The world is a swirling vortex of darkness and despair. 🙂
Yeah, you probably expect me to say now that I’m kidding and get to what the real point is. You probably don’t think it’s even remotely possible that your dear old sunshiny Dad could be so cynical. Actually, I am; horrendously so. At least, right now I am and within the past 5 years I have been a very bitter person. I know how upsetting this probably is for you to believe.
I’ve gone through some messy things, maybe you know about them and maybe you don’t yet, that caused me to lose a lot of my sense of happiness and joy. I didn’t call myself a dreamer I called myself a realist and a cynic. I didn’t feel like the world was a magical place full of opportunity, instead I felt like the world was just a place where bad things happen whether you’re a good person or a bad person and there was nothing we could do about it but watch and hope to make it through each day.
Not really the best way to spend your life let me tell you. Between the things that have happened to me, constantly keeping up on the news, and having a job that is constantly focusing on all of the negativity in the world, it’s kind of hard not to get bitter and cynical. Even for a ray of sunshine like myself.
Let me go into what I mean when I say that I was, and currently am, a cynic. I mean that instead of looking at things that I am passionate about and seeing opportunity and an awaiting adventure I see obstacles and financial issues and just another dream that will slip away from me. Instead of having an argument with somebody out loud I have it in my head when there isn’t even a cause for the argument.
Instead of seeing somebody waltz into work with a smile on their face and a skip in their step and sharing a good-hearted conversation, I am short with them and want them to go away because I don’t need what I have deemed their ‘annoying energy’ around me right now. Instead of spending all of my days thinking about my upcoming wedding and my trip to Disney World and my little baby nephew and your mom and learning guitar and all of these other cool things I’ve got going on, I sit and think about all of the things that fill me with anxiety and stress me out and ruin my day.
So, as you can see, being a cynic is rather taxing on you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
It’s something I’m trying to fight though and, by golly, it’s hard. I’ll immediately start thinking about something awful and have to audibly tell myself to shut up. Makes me even crazier when people can hear me and I wasn’t even talking a second before that. I’m okay with people thinking I’m crazy though because that’s better. It is better to have people think you are silly, neurotic, weird, and crazy rather than thinking that you are dark and cold and bitter. Silliness comes with warmth and laughter and smiles and happiness. Bitterness comes with anxiety and depression and all sorts of other disorders.
Let it go, going to listen to that song immediately after I finish writing this. Let go of all of those things that make you so darned angry. Let go of all of those memories that make you feel bad and all of the things in the world that rev up your heart in a bad way and make you nervous and scared and anxious. Think about your dreams, your passions, and your loved ones. Think about all of the things that make your heart beat faster in a great way!
It’s a hard thing to do when everywhere you turn in this world there are reasons to believe the world isn’t magical, trust a hardened cynic, but your life will be so much more rewarding if you just flip that switch and force yourself to start seeing the positive and spend time dwelling on what is good about life.
Right now, I have your mom and Gimli in all of their wonderful, quirky, adorable sweetness. I get to have adventures with them and have laughs with them and try new things with them and discover awesome things with them. You know what else I have? Youth. I’m 23 as of this writing and I have the world in front of me. I still have all of this time to discover where my passion can lead me and how happy it can make me if I just make my brain let go of the wheel and let my heart take over.
I have so many wonderful ways I can spend each moment of my day, even the dull rainy ones, that I don’t need to dwell on all of the things that make me sad.
The message to you, kiddo(s), is to let it go. Maybe you don’t feel someone deserves your forgiveness and maybe you feel anxious about something that you have no control over but just let go of all of that. Forgive people for yourself, let go of the anger. Stop stressing about things you have no control over, they will happen as they will happen and you will still be fine when coming out the other side, I promise. Smile lots. Laugh often. Live a life with love and dreams and wonder and adventure, don’t ever become a bitter old cynic. You can do so much better than that, I know you can.